“Your magic is in your mess.”
For as long as I can remember, I taught myself that in order to deserve love, I had to perform.
It manifested in many different ways, but the seed was planted in my childhood years in a household that was defined by intensely high-pressure (and unhealthy) expectations. I was taught, and reminded, that in order to deserve and receive love, I needed to prove I was the best.
At age 11 everything came to a head. The intense pressures of needing to be someone else’s version of unique perfection, began to take a physical toll on my young body, mind, and spirit. The emotional pain was so intense that it began to manifest in my physical body through anxiety attacks and various physical conditions.
Even then, when I didn’t fully understand what was happening, I knew something wasn’t right.
For the next 15 years through grade school, college, and beyond, I became an expert at putting on any and every mask that would make me feel special enough to belong - even just for a minute.
I tried EVERYTHING (and yes, I do mean everything) to distract myself from my physical, emotional, and spiritual sickness. I struggled with depression, hopelessness, anxiety, panic attacks, codependency, abuse, alcoholism, terrifying self-talk, extreme fear, PTSD, trauma, emotional repression, self-hatred… just to name a few.
I tried anything I could think of to make myself feel I was worth something.
But the harder I worked to fill the gap with outside influences, the more empty and alone I really felt.
I spent the better part of 20 years experiencing various physical, mental, and emotional conditions, in and out of doctor offices, therapy couches, in a bottle, co-dependent, addicted to escape and to pain, until I hit the bottom of hopelessness.
It was only through total surrender that I found myself at the floor of a mountain of brutal honesty.
What I was doing, my way of thinking, how I dealt with my emotions and the past, and the choices I made simply weren't working.
One day, as I lay crying on my bed, in a desperate plea I begged God to make the pain go away. I heard a voice back that clearly said, “You know that you are here for more… just go to one thing… one thing that you can stick to every week.”
It was the sign I needed. I knew that in order to heal, I needed to begin with my mind first.
The language of my Self-Talk was so self-deprecating, condemning, and loathing, that reprogramming became the key.
I made a DECISION that pain was no longer going to be my story.
Through many years of learning, education, mentor-ship, radical self-exploration, deep level healing, and massive commitment, I redesigned my life from the ground floor up and reprogrammed my mind.
I wrote myself a new narrative.
Through this journey, every fiber in my being became inspired to support others in their mental and emotional prisons as well.
While pregnant with my son, I became an avid student of the mind and completed certifications Master NLP Practitioner, M.E.R. Practitioner, and Breakthrough Therapy. Week by week, I began to mourn and get to know my mind in a brand new way.
For the last 7 years, I have devoted myself to the knowledge and pursuit of mental and emotional freedom through holistic wellness.
Ultimately, my transformation process led me to a personal awakening within my Spiritual self, where Jesus healed and still continues to heal my Spirit, revealing to me the origins of my ancestral programs, false doctrines, DNA coding, and traumas that are being healed through Him. God has led me through many trials and tribulations, many doorways and pathways and through his mercy even allowed me to walk through various false light and dangerous spiritual pathways until I could see the other side.
It’s taken A TON of work, and this un-layering journey has gifted me with the eyes to see, draw out, and celebrate the uniqueness in people, just like you. Now I’m on a mission to help you see that your magic is in your mess!
It’s in the unfolding of the process where you can truly find acceptance, love, and the truth of who you are.
The world needs what you have…
Certified Master NLP practitioner
Certified Mental & Emotional Release Therapist
Certified Elite NLP Coach
Certified Breakthrough Therapy Coach
Shadow Work Practitioner
Sacred Medicine Integration
Psychology and Counseling
Holistic Health Coaching
Emotional Intelligence Training and Coaching
Leadership & Facilitator Development
B.S. Molecular and Cellular Biology
M.A. in Professional Counseling
Bachelors in Natural Medicine (in progress)
Private Educator of High School Academics for 15 years
Why do so many of us often feel anxious and often stuck in one area of our life?
Why do we feel unsatisfied even after great success?
Why do we obsess as a culture over celebrity identity and build our self-esteem based upon an illusion of self-love?
Why do we struggle with breaking through depression, chronic pain, or addictive patterns?
Why do so many struggle with their health and often feel no better after medication?
THE ANSWER IS WELLNESS.
The western paradigm often views wellness through the window of a physician's office and a therapy chair. Although these methods and treatments are often necessary for treatment, it is only one window of the house.
The root of disease and dysfunction are often the result of two causes:
Inflammation and Imbalance.
When we expand our understanding of the whole person, we begin to see the mind-body-spirit connection unfold at every level of living.
I am here to guide you to those other windows where a life of inner joy, physical vitality, personal and professional success, love, higher consciousness, and health are not only possible, but achievable.
My mission and privilege is to interrupt the stories, patterns, and programs that have been blocking you from seeing what is possible for your life, so that your body, mind, and soul can experience freedom from suffering and claim the power and confidence you were born to feel.
Jamie Star Crawford. 2022. All Rights Reserved.
H.I.V.E Being LLC- HIVE Coaching
Los Angeles & Orange County, CA